First Impressions. I have a controversial approach to first impressions. We spend our whole lives learning that we need to impress people, we need to show them the best us that we can be, and that we need to sometimes put on this fake persona in order to feel accepted into this world. How do you really make a great first impression? Unlearn all that B.S.
The world that we live in today is all about creating those fake relationships. Sadly, those relationships aren’t solid, they aren’t going carry us through our lives and they are one reason why we are miserable. We spend our lives trying to impress the person in the cubicle beside us, when that person probably doesn’t give a damn. When we go in for a job interview, or meeting a new person, we put on this persona that isn’t real, and even though that may have been the perfect person, it was not authentic, and then we are spending the rest of our time pretending to be them, because we made the mistake of not being true to who we are.
I have this philosophy that although first impression can be important in creating new relationships with people, we want those relationships to be authentic. If someone doesn’t like you, we have to remember that not everyone should, and those people were either put in your path to show you something new or put in your path to teach you not to care.
Let’s put you in a scenario, where you are meeting your in-laws for the first time. Now I don’t know about you, but the first time that I met my in-laws I was shaking with nerves and I wanted to make sure that they liked me. Their child, the person that I was pretty sure I was spending the rest of my life with, I knew that he loved me for the cranky, grumpy, happy, joyful, chatterbox that I am, and at the time that is what I should have focussed on. I ended up being quiet, not talking much and only saying what I knew was going to be approved of. I dug myself in a hole. Five years later, I am still with the same amazing human-being, who supports me to no end, who I can share my thoughts and ideas with and bicker with at the same time. That is what matters. So, I slowly start to be the chatterbox, the person who repeats, and talks loudly about topics that I am passionately about, and slowly they are starting to see the real me, do I see some judgement on their faces? Maybe, maybe not, but I am learning not to care.
So, you are meeting your in-laws for the first time? Don’t do what I did. You want to dress nice, sure, go for it, but wear the clothes that match you, not some new fancy dress that you went and bought in the store that you would never wear again. When they ask you questions, give them the real answers. A topic that you are passionate about comes up in the conversation, don’t hold back and go for it. They know that their child has chosen this person for a reason, show them that reason.
This advice can be applied to any situation, any first impression. Your first impression should show the world who you are, not what they want you to be. If they don’t like it, they weren’t meant to hold power over your life.