SEX sells
The other day I went for a breakfast with a few girlfriends of mine. It was a busy restaurant and we sat in the far corner, squished with another table behind us. We did what all friends do when they haven’t seen each other for some time, we talked, laughed and caught up on the current events of our lives.
After the catching up part of the breakfast, we started having conversations about a variety of topics. One topic that came up was sex. When it comes to this topic, we are part of a generation where the conversation of sex is quite typical. The conversation could include what works, what doesn’t work, the first-time having sex after a breakup. Point being, we talk about sex. I was taking part in the conversation, because it is an important topic to talk about, and I suddenly became aware of an awkward stare here and there. It wasn’t much, and it was discreate, but I noticed.
Now these stares didn’t bother me, I kept listening and participating in the discussion. However, it got me thinking about the world that we live in. Here sat a handful of millennial women, talking about sex and living a free and open life, but that isn’t deemed appropriate in a public setting. In this case no one came over to let us know that we were making other customers uncomfortable, but have I heard that happening before? Of course, I have! What baffles me is that we, as women or even human beings, are not allowed to talk about sex in an informative, safe and authentic way, but what do we see on our newsfeed, or in video games, is the sexualization of women. It’s considered “normal” to be able to turn on the television or open a video game and see a half-naked woman, but for women to express the realities of sex, that is shunned upon. For a woman to be comfortable in her body, and wear clothes that might reveal more skin, that is considered completely unacceptable in the society we live in, but to open the clickbait of the woman forced to wear the same thing to sell the car, that is deemed acceptable? Where is the logic?
Over the years we have heard the expression that sex sells. What does this mean? It means that showing some form of sexual expression in a commercial or advertisement will engage people and want them to buy the product. This could be as simple as a woman eating a hotdog in the most unrealistic way or going snowboarding in a bikini to encourage people to buy those cold blue mountains on the beer can. It could be a joke or downright sexism, regardless, it’s there and it’s unrealistic. Although writing it out, we see the obvious issue, it is always brushed under the rug.
Tell me. Does it make sense that we show our future generations this form of sexualization and allow them to have these unrealistic expectations? Or do we encourage real conversations? Now for me the answer is obvious, but to some it might not be.
Sitting down with a few friends and having a real conversation about sex, without feeling ashamed by the people around you. Here is how it can help you:
“Oh, I’m not the only one that happens to”
“It’s not okay that this is what is happening”
“Maybe I should try something different to help me”
Those are only a few possible things that could run through your head. It is not only encouraging and allows you to feel open about your body and your sex life, but it also helps you take away that shame that we were constantly brought up to feel.
Society sexualizes women and makes them feel shame and fear about their bodies before they turn twelve. That’s not okay. Because of this young girls, and even adults are embarrassed about bringing up the topic or even asking a question about sex or their body to a doctor?! This is the world that has been created for us, this is the world that we need to change.