I posted a picture on my personal Instagram story the other day, and I was asked if I had lost weight. A few years ago I would have taken this as a compliment, as if looking small and being thin was the only thing I needed to achieve in life. Every time someone would bring it up, it would feed into the desire to be what society wanted me to be. However, I am not that person anymore and when I was asked if I had lost weight, I didn’t like it and it didn’t feed into any desire. I actually made a point in saying that I had gained weight, because I had toned up and was continuously putting on more muscle.
As a society we have this idea that whatever the number says on the scale is what defines us, but it’s not. Over the last five years I have put on muscle, which will have an impact on the number on the scale, but that muscle is showing me how strong I have gotten, how fit I am, how hard I have worked; so the number, the number isn’t telling me what I am worth, the number really means nothing at all anymore.
It really got me thinking, about how society’s biggest compliment, the one we hear in and out is, “wow! you’ve lost so much weight.” What does that do? It tells someone that their body is worth more than their mind; that it is the only thing people notice, and that they weren’t good enough before. That comment, doesn’t phase me anymore, and I never say thank you, I never reward that type of compliment. There comes to a certain point that I almost take it as insult, as if that is the only thing people are noticing. They don’t notice that my biceps have grown, or that I can carry heavy objects with ease; no, they only notice that my waist is smaller.
How many young woman work for that compliment; who are fed off of that compliment and who could possibly put their bodies in danger because of that compliment? Too many. Because society continues to push that standard. That you are only worth something if you lose something.
I write this, not to put shame, but to show awareness; we should be making compliments that are about the person, their personality, their smile, their style; a compliment should not only be about skinny. It is what we are conditioned to think, to say, but sometimes we have to unlearn what society has taught us and it can be hard, but it can create a much more body positive community. We weren’t put on this earth to feel like our only goal in life is lose weight. It’s not. Each of you have so much value and worth, so shine bright.