A Guide to Hallmark Movies

The time of year has come again where the only movies that seem to be playing on my television are Hallmark movies. I don’t have an issue with Hallmark movies, truthfully they are one of my guilty pleasures, but something interesting always comes alongside them.

Some people go after movie romance, they try to chase it, and capture it and to that, I say “well done” I am definitely not that person.

However…

Others acknowledge that life isn’t like a Hallmark movie, ignoring the idea of having compassionate, strong love in their relationships because that is just entertainment… it’s not real.

I am bothered by this idea.

Let me elaborate.

Life is not like a Hallmark movie, but we still deserve human decency. This is where the line seems to get blurry, making it time to clarify something rather important. You deserve a relationship that makes you happy, healthy and notably, allows for you to be you.

Can we expect the ironic timing like a holiday classic? No, it’s written in, it’s planned, and life is anything but planned. Ignoring the corny comedy, the love-stricken characters and the crisis that gets resolved in minutes, there are two important themes, ideas, lessons or common understandings that we disregard when we laugh off the movie.

To love oneself.
&
To be treated right.

To Love Oneself

 Having a healthy relationship with yourself is crucial. It’s key to life-long happiness, it’s key to loneliness, and it’s key to understanding your value without anyone else involved. When we rely on another person to give us our happiness, we are not internally happy but just applied an external bandaid.

Is it possible that love with another person follows? Yes. 

Is it possible you learn to love yourself after getting into a relationship? Yes.

Is it possible to be externally and internally happy in a relationship when you don’t love yourself? No.

You can have a healthy relationship with somebody, but that internal love, that self-adoration, the understanding of your value, they do not come from another person, but it comes from you; it is all you.

It’s loving yourself at every stage, even when you are trying to grow, develop, or target goals.

It’s understanding yourself and knowing that you are human and make mistakes, but also holding accountability for those mistakes.

It’s appreciating your body for what it does for you every day, regardless of its size.

It’s a process… and it’s long, but it’s something we cannot ignore.

Hallmark movies fast-pace this progress, so quickly we sometimes don’t see it, but it’s there, it happens, the main character learns to appreciate themself, and becomes open to the idea of love again. 

To Be Treated Right

Human beings take too much crap. It’s not an eloquent way to say it, but it doesn’t make it less truthful.

I am generalizing here. There are an array of different personalities, some more toxic than others, but for the majority, this can be applied.

You deserve to be treated right. You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to expect common human decency. Sadly, from an observation standpoint, this rarely happens.

I’ve seen relationships where people are simply expected to follow, without the conversation, without possible compromise, without acting like partners.

I’ve seen relationships where people get spoken to like a child, deemed incompetent of being an adult because they disagreed.

Not listening.
Victimizing.
Stereotyping.
Superiority.
Validation.
Control.
Violating boundaries.

These traits are common in relationships, these traits are also common toxic behaviours, these traits are not human decency.

You deserve to be treated right. You deserve a relationship that will allow you to thrive, not hold you back.
There are hardships in all partnerships, disagreements, difficult conversations, but if you can still thrive if you are supporting and are being supported and you are being treated right, you have what you deserve. That’s real.

The corny comedy, the romance, the Hallmark movie vibe, that’s purely coincidental, but being treated right, that’s real, and it’s deserved.

How to be a Hallmark movie?

Read between the lines. Treat yourself with love and respect, and know you deserve to be treated with respect by others.